


I don't think anyone could ever love (the way I love you)

by theshipstorulethemallwrites



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, how they find Felicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 00:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11001732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshipstorulethemallwrites/pseuds/theshipstorulethemallwrites
Summary: How Oliver finds his family again





	I don't think anyone could ever love (the way I love you)

He’s holding his son, his  _beautiful boy_ , in his arms, his head buried in his blond hair but all his mind is doing is screaming at him. Screaming to go back and torture himself some more until he knows for sure that they are gone, that even if he has son he’s lost. It’s like a pounding chorus running through his mind, singing, “ _Fel-ic-ity, Fel-ici-ty, Fe-ic-ity_.”

Taunting him, tempting him to forgo reason, leave behind logic and let his heart rule the day but then he hears sniffles. He looks down and sees William, trying in vain not to cry.

“Hey, hey buddy.” He says in what he hopes are soothing tones and his son, god he has a son, looks up at him, takes a deep breath and says, terror clear in his voice, “Oliver, where’s my mom?”

Oliver bends down, carefully keeping him in his gaze. His son shouldn’t have to see the body of his kidnapper or the smoking ashes of the island, so he positions them in just the right way that William can see the smoke but not the fire.

“I don’t know but I know she’s safe.”

And Oliver isn’t lying here, he knows that if Felicity and Thea, oh god no, not Thea, were gone and he really was the last of his line, he wouldn’t be able to stand, much less form words. Grief is a palpable thing, he knows this well, he had felt his bones rattle when his father died, he had felt his soul scream when Slade murdered his mother. He would feel it, if Thea died. And he would feel his heart cave in on itself if Felicity died. He knows this, he knows because seeing her in that hospital bed, holding her in arms as she went limp, his heart had stopped and then he’d felt her pulse beneath his fingers and it had started again. Grief is visceral and losing that many important people close to him, all the different ways people become homes, he would have passed out in the sheer amount of pain his soul was feeling. They aren’t dead.

If Oliver knows anything about Slade, the kinship, the partnership, he knows that if the other man has knowledge on his son, he will refuse to die. And the only way Slade’s getting that information is Oliver. And Oliver, Oliver will never give him anything if he doesn’t get his family back. He knows that where they were is relatively close to the bunker and that would survive anything.

Still he thinks about the fact that could’ve been the last time he kissed Felicity, that their last kiss was soft and full of promise. A kiss that swore there would thousands of other kisses, an I’ll see you again in a kiss but it could be their last kiss. That their last kiss was everyone else’s wedding kiss, it was a we’ll have more time type of kiss and that made him want to scream.

But he turns and looks at William and realizes that they have to get of there, they have to get home. They have to. They have to call Lyla, ask her to take in William for a few hours so he can go find the rest of their family and bring them back safe to his sister-in-law and his son.

He tries once to get in contact with the rest of the team, a last ditch effort that he can only bring himself to do because he’s holding his son in his arms. Because his son asked him to find his mother, because his son knows he’s the Green Arrow, has seen him, and still looks at him like he is worthy of the love shining in William’s eyes. He has to try. So, he presses the com on his suit and shakily says, “Thea, Dig, Samantha. Nyssa. Can anyone hear me?”

He waits for a moment, praying to the god he stopped believing in when his father shot himself in front of his eyes on these very waters, but the only sound he hears is silence, is his and William’s breathing. So he tries again, “Felicity, Lance, Rene, Dinah. Come on, pick up. Please.”

He feels like begging, like collapsing into the grave he’s always managed to avoid when there’s only static on the other end. But William, his beautiful boy, William hasn’t seen what he’s seen, he doesn’t know that hope is often pointless, that hope is most ruthless of any emotion as he looks up at Oliver and requests, “Try again, Mom always said that the third time's the charm.”

Oliver sighs, rubbing William’s hair and nodding, pressing the com and basically begging the universe to give his loved ones back to him, to give his son his mother, to give Lyla and JJ Dig, to give Rene’s daughter her father, who has always tried to be the person she deserved, that the universe would for once, be kind. So he presses the com and speaks, voice breaking and knees weak, “Felicity, Felicity, can you hear me? Felicity, please. _Felicity_.”

There’s only silence and he wants to curse the universe, he wants to rip up Fate. They can’t take them from him. If anyone deserves a happy ending it’s him. This is the end of his Odyssey, he should get to return to his Penelope, his Felicity, the woman who saved him and shaped him. The woman who anchors him, he deserves the safe harbor the universe has given every other legend. He’s done his time but clearly the stars think he should be holding the earth on his shoulders for longer. Still nothing and Oliver goes to the front of the ship and starts steering them back to Star City, back to place that houses what used to be his home. Home doesn’t exist without Thea’s swagger, without Dig’s calm, home can’t exist without Felicity’s voice. He sighs, holding his son close and trying to pretend the sea is getting in his eyes, instead of the tears that drip down.

But then he hears a crackle, a voice shouting his name. And just like that the world turns vibrant, the light filters back in. With one voice, one word, his world is returned to him and he turns the boat around, speeding back to the island that is full of horrors and ghosts.

“ _Oliver_.”

There’s static on the line again and he feels himself lose any sense of calm. Knowing they’re alive, knowing that she’s ok enough to say his name like he’s the answer to a question she’s never let herself ask before, that’s enough but the blood starts flowing through his veins again, the blood reviving at the sound of her voice. Because he’s not lying when he says that Felicity is his life, that’s not hyperbole.

“Felicity, Felicity, stay with me. Stay with me, please.”

He finds himself begging, not caring who hears on the other line. William should learn early what being in love does to a man, so he takes care not to make the mistakes that Oliver made.

“I’m here, I’m here.” She says, coughing a little, “We’re in the bunker.”

“I thought so. Is everyone else there? William wants to hear his mom’s voice.”

William perks up from he’s resting in Oliver’s arms. “Mom?” He asks, voice soft and then Samantha comes on the radio, her voice shaking as she asks, “Willy?”

William nods and Oliver holds back a chuckle, whispering in his ear, “She can’t see you, buddy.”

His son nods again, more determined before speaking, “Yeah, it’s me. Dad and I are fine, I think he’s more afraid than I am right now.”

And that’s a punch to the gut, and Oliver looks up at the sky blinking away the urge to cry because he never thought he’d hear William calling him dad. It’s such a gift, to know that even though he’s done nothing to deserve it. All he’s done since he found out about his son is bring him and Samantha danger and pain. He’ll spend the rest of his life trying his best to be the dad that William deserves, the dad that he always should’ve been.

“Willy, put Oliver back on, alright. I’ll see you in a bit.” Samantha’s voice sounds more sure, more hopeful and Oliver can see that William stands easier, not leaning on him as much. Oliver sighs, breathing easier as he hears Felicity’s voice floating through his heart. What a great metaphor for their relationship.

“Everyone’s ok, a little shaken and I think Dig might have caught the tail end of the blast because his clothes look smokey but other than that, no major injuries.”

“Other than the ones you had before.” Oliver comments, fist clenching as he remembers how much dried blood and cuts were on Felicity’s face.

“We’re about 15 minutes from your location. We’ll be there as soon as possible.” He says, looking down at William who is staring out at the horizon and grinning. His boy likes sailing, it seems. Now that their family is within their sights, though still far away, the rate at which Oliver drives kicks up the sea, spraying it in William’s face and his son only leans further out towards the edge. Apparently, his daredevil tendencies are inheritable which makes him slightly frightened with what he’ll have to deal with when his and Felicity’s kids are teenager. He loves having a sibling, having multiple even if not in blood and he knows that Felicity wished for a sibling for a lot of those lonely years in Vegas. He knows from that summer, the summer vacation, where they tried out normal for a bit, he knows from block parties that Felicity is great, if a bit awkward, with kids. The thought that him and Felicity, his partner, the love of his life, are back in a place where thinking about kids doesn’t immediately get shoved down to darker parts of his mind makes him smile.

Before Oliver knows it, they’re close enough to Lian Yu that he can smell the smoke and feel the heat of the fire. He quickly reaches down, grimacing as he rips a piece off of Chase’s shirt to make a makeshift mask for William.

“Hey, William, I’m going to tie this around your face ok?” He says and his son nods, not asking where he got the cloth.

“To prevent smoke inhalation.” He says and just before Oliver wraps it around his face, he can’t help but be curious where William learned that.

“Where did you?” He asks, not finishing the sentence because William gives a winning smile, one that he’s seen in the mirror so many times, as he says proudly, “I want to be a firefighter when I grow up.”

Oliver ruffles his hair as he finishes tying the mask, his heart expanding as he looks at his son. His son who wants to save people in a better, easier way, than he has done. He’s so full of pride it’s absolutely overwhelming because he has spent years, an entire decade, trying to be a better man than his father and here his son is, nine years old, and already a better person than his father ever was.

They reach the place where the bunker is, seeing charred land and debris lining their way.

“William, stay on the ship.” Oliver commands, he knows that the image of Nyssa and Slade could give anyone not prepared nightmares and if he does anything else, his son will have nightmares for a decade. He won’t give him any more nightmare fuel that he’s already been forced to witness. William nods, and Oliver finds himself breathing easier. He jumps out of the edge, hearing a gasp from his son at the parkor he’d just done and he finds himself grinning. He races to the bunker, tapping his com just to check because god, he’s always going to take as many chances possible to hear the sound of Felicity’s voice.

“Felicity.” He says, sliding down on his knees and beginning to unlock the bunker.

“Oliver, we’re still in the bunker. Nyssa just came back and said she can hear you.”

He huffs a laugh, Nyssa Al Ghul always likes to make an entrance and steal his thunder, it’s part of her charm.

“Ok I’m going in.” He says, wrenching the door open and striding in. He hears a clamor of voices and sees his sister first. Thea runs towards him and they hug, he cradles her hair in the palm of his hand and feels her crying in his shoulder. Most of the others nod to him on their way out, Samatha murmuring a soft “thank you.” He breaks apart from Thea and she grips him tight before heading out to the boat, the boat that is very unlikely to hold them all comfortably.

And now only two remain. The two that have been there since the beginning and he’s suddenly reminded of the scene in the sixth Harry Potter book between the Golden Trio where Harry wants to go on his own and Ron and Hermione tell him that they made their choice a long time ago. It’s the same deal here, with him and Felicity and Dig. Dig wraps him a hug, slapping him on the back and saying, “Good to see you, man.”

“You too, John, you too.” Oliver responds, soaking in the familiar reassurance that he gets when he’s around his brother. Dig heads out, not before glancing between him and Felicity with a smirk firmly on his face.

“ _Felicity_. When I thought you died and I realized that I don’t remember when I last told you that I love you, I swore to myself that that would be the first thing I said to you. Well now, it’s like the fourth but as I look into your eyes, I know that I only have one truth and that is that I love you, Felicity.”

Oliver finishes, looking at Felicity and she rushes up to him, pulling him down for a kiss that takes his breath away before he starts kissing back. It’s a desperate kiss, it’s the kiss that welcomes a sailor home after being shipwrecked for what seems like centuries, it’s the kiss that promises more and yet acts as though this is the last moment they have. It’s a perfect kiss, it’s a kiss of reuniting with the missing piece of your soul.

“Just so you know, I love you too.”

Oliver knows that his smile in this moment could outshine the sun. This is the first time he feels like he has truly won against both the villain and the demons that are finally silent. He presses a soft kiss against Felicity’s lips, one that they have to break because they are smiling too much. As he lets Felicity lead him outside, to where his family is waiting for them, he knows that for the first time in a long time he is at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first Arrow fic. I hope you liked it! Please comment 
> 
> title comes from Fortress by Bear's Den
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://the-ships-to-rule-them-all.tumblr.com)


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